Right Night Ride

One could find perhaps a few things as exciting as hitting the highways after hours. Well, technically, there is no “after hours” on the highway but one should not be surprised to see bikes and cars zooming past you with a trail of songs sung by exhilarated youth (sometimes quite stoned, sometimes just under ballistic adrenaline rush). But then, a lot can happen on a ride or drive, especially if you are trying to kill boredom, drunk, and know only as much Kannada as to say “ Kannada gothilla”. Worse, if you have a girl with you.

Definitely I am referring to the Mamus in Bangalore. They prepare rather too enthusiastically for their night –time prowls with their Khaki uniform, black jacket that barely conceals a revolting belly, helmet, aged bike, a tattered notepad of recycled paper, and something that would have been called a pen in your granddad’s age.

So what happens if you live in the heart of the city and feel bored at 9 at night? Arguably, the same that happened to two of my very dear friends – night ride plans. But the hitch is, both of them decided to go separate ways with two different guys who barely look twenty, are sloshed and are crazy riders with just one agenda – reach back by 12 somehow.  Well, the time constraint doesn’t mean shorter rides, it just means crazier riding.

5 minutes to 12: a bike stops in front of a ladies’ hostel, few seconds later, and another bike screeches to a halt. Four youngsters look at each others, start smiling like idiots and then burst out laughing like maniacs. The guys still had their helmets on but the expression on the ladies’ face was twinned – I am laughing at my ride. Why the hell are you laughing? Then there was a chorus of-

            “What happened?”

            “Dude cops caught us!”…………..”us too!!!”

            “Are you serious?”

            “Bloody hell………”

CASE1

Ride on Mysore Road.

Speed – immaterial

Fun – unlimited

Crime – having Gobi Manchurian at roadside.

Penalty options – Call parents and get them talking with the cops, Pay Rs.2500 at police station and get back on road, listen like a dummy to the Cop-preach and pay Rs.200 to shut his face.

CASE2

Ride around the city area

Speed – bearable (considering the rider is 4 beer mugs down)

Fun – seen laughing like morons on the road

Crime – that they exist.

Penalty – no penalty. The rider blows into the blower and is detected by three cops as “perfectly sober”. They smile at him and give them a clean chit. The rider depressed at losing money for worthless, undetectable 4 mugs of beer.

CONCLUSIONS FROM THE TWO CASES

1.      Bangalore cops hate Gobi Manchurian-eaters at roadsides.

2.      Or they think Gobi Manchurian should be Rs.200 costlier.

3.      Bangalore police use imported liquor detector (presumably Chinese – no guarantee, no warranty promised).